oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
