he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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