no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Only a mothe r could love this liver
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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