Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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