So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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