he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
