I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Say something about gay babies.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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