my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
