I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
