why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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