I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
