batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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