i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
