you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
