with your own penis?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
