I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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