eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
