she was so not down for the gang bang
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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