I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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