it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
