those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
