Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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