Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
