and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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