worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
