We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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