it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize