I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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