I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
