My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
