Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
