Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
