He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
please come you make the beer taste better
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
