We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
