I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
