omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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