she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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