There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize