turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
