This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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