listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
