sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
