Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
