Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
