That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
