Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
