please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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