Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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