it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
