My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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