i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We were destined to go to rehab together
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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