Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize