how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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