In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
